Thursday, November 15, 2012

Recently overheard at the annual softball game, United States Embassy, Beijing, China

“Xi Jinping replaced Hu Jintao as head of the Chinese Communist Party...” - Bloomberg News, Nov 15, 2012

Recently overheard at the annual softball game, United States Embassy, Beijing, China:

“Hu is on first.”
“Who?”
“Hu.”
“That’s what I’m asking.”
“I’ve just told you.”
“Who?”
“Right, Hu is on first.”
“That’s what I’m asking you!”
“Oh, forget about it. Xi is on third.”
“That’s a guy on third.”
“Right, Xi is on third.”
“No, he is on third.”
“Right, he is. Xi.”
“Who’s she?”
“Xi, the new president.”
“The new president’s a she?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“Then who’s on third?”
“No, Xi is!”
“What are you talking about? He is on third.”
“That’s right.”
“Then why did you say she is?”
“Look, you’re making me crazy. The old president’s on first, the new president’s on third.”
“Who’s the old president on first?”
“Yeah, Hu.”
“That’s what I’ve been asking you!”
“Hu is, you dunce. Xi is the new president, on third.”
“You mean he is.”
“Yeah. <cough, cough> Here, gimme your inhaler.”
“Okay, just don’t put your lips on it. So who is the new president?”
“No, Xi is!”
“Who?”
“Not Hu, Xi!”
“Who is she?!”
“What are you talking about?! Hu is Hu!”
“Who is she?”
“Look, get it through your head. Xi is the new president.”
Who is she?”
“What have you been smoking? ‘Hu is Xi.’ That makes no sense!”
“You keep talking about her. I don’t know who she is.”
“Wow, whatever you’ve got, I want some of it. Xi is a guy.”
“They do that here? In the party leadership?”
“Do what?”
“A she who’s a he?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I don’t know’s on second.”
“At least we’ve got that straight.”